BlackBerry Journey (3) // "In The Less of Me..."

"One of the biggest problems I have learned about myself is that I hate being misunderstood in my thoughts and actions. Maybe it is the insecurity arising within me, but I want people to not judge me without getting to know me first. I found this characteristic especially prominent when I meet people for the first time and try to implement important details about myself within our conversation that make me interesting or that I am proud of.

Through this, I have learned the greater truth in which my intention of trying to point people to myself is an evidence of pride in my heart. I too often misplace my focus and lose sight of what it means to be a follower of Christ as I let my pride distort my true objective which is to point people to God and God alone. Too many times do I seek my own glory and own recognition and forget to whom it all belongs to.

With this said, I am thankful that God has shown me grace and given me the heart to strive for holiness so that the more someone might get to know me, the more they might be able see the attitudes and mindsets that Jesus embodies in my own life. I am so glad that God is teaching me of and guiding me through this dangerous trap that I too often fall into before I begin leading small groups for kcm. I am once again reminded that my role as not only a small group leader but a Christian is the direct people not to myself, but to God.

God's timing is always so graceful


DEC 2nd

American Idol

BlackBerry Journey (2) // "A Beautiful Mess"

I think that moving on is only possible by letting things go so here's to what God has in store for this upcoming school year

"I've been learning to appreciate imperfections and understanding how it is sometimes the ugliness that makes something beautiful.

I guess the only way to define this year is the image of a beautiful mess beacuse going through it was a rough, tear filled journey that often brought me to my knees asking for Your strength because I didn't see any within me. But as I look it over I can only see the blessings: relationships with people who chose not to let me fall even though I kept pushing them away, spiritual growth and understanding the concept of showing grace to myself, and actually learning the material in school so that I can apply it later in life. Everything about this year was me transitioning and I still don't know where I am going but I do know that I am loved even when I cant love myself.

I really wonder what's going to happen with me and my major, my career, my relationships and I'm scared about where I might be headed, but I now know that beauty can arise from the imperfections. What a unique journey to where I eventually need to be."


one of my favorite and most beautiful scenes of all time. so symbolic