since not many ppl read this b/c of my tumblr

hahaha I feel like I have so much more freedom to write what is on my heart!

dang this morning prayer week was crazy. I have never been so desperate and grateful for the gospel at the same time. I was craving it so much because I really need some good news. Man, my heart is such a mess. It's so disfigured and mangled up into some crazy knot that I cant seem to massage out on my own. I keep trying. I use different techniques whether it is drowning myself in work (or facebook), spending time with people, or just trying to ignore it, the pain and discomfort still remain.

But the gospel is the perfect healing. Before every time our mission's team does something new, a skit or body worship or vbs decorations, we always circle up and our leader asks someone to share about how the gospel has been apparent in their lives. When we first started doing this, I really thought God designed this time specifically for me. Man, it's good to hear about God's faithfulness throughout the day. It's such a blessing to be reminded of Christ and his victory on the cross redeeming me forever into God's family. Because of his sacrifice I may now approach the Lord with full confidence and call him Father. My hope is in this. My trust is in this. I need this desperately.

I trust in your goodness and your ability to redeem my boyish ways. How much discipline I sacrificed for the sake of worldly idols instead of trusting in the goodness you provide. How deep is your love for me and in response, forever my heart will sing of how great you are.