Monday, May 2, 2011

sinuses

All I can seem to focus on is my sinus infection. It's soooo frustrating. There is a grip of pressure in my eyes, nose, and cheekbone area. It feels like there are air bubbles in my cheekbones pushing against the wall of my skull and trying to break through from the inside out. They want to explode, but they cant because of the bones. My nose is super dry. My entire row of upper teeth are numb (such a strange feeling). I also feel like I have to sneeze 24/7 but it wont come out.

But while I was thinking about how frail my body is and complaining about these physical ailments, I was reminded of how insignificant these problems really are. Though they do inhibit my ability to focus on anything (I'm so surprised I can write this....I loveee medicine zomgosh) in the end, if the biggest thing that bothers me throughout the day is some physical discomfort, then what do I really have to complain about? I've been getting rebuked constantly about how I need to be more thankful. I feel like I always want more (yes, ocs.), thinking I am entitled to it but in reality I am blessed with much more than I ever deserve. This happens so often in my relationships with people where I think I constantly pour out everything on them with the (unhealthy and unbiblical) expectation for them to return the same amount to me. This leads to sin as I begin to be bitter and angry that the person doesn't suffice me. I am sorry that you have to deal with that.

But I am thankful to be reminded to "rejoice in the Lord always" because honestly, there isn't much to complain about when I think about the fact that God loves me and chose to reconcile with me even though I was the one to push Him away. How often do I forget about that? If it takes an ownage sinus infection to once again bring me back to that truth, then it's totally worth it

1 Comments:

Blogger mimijoe said...

i hope you get betta

May 3, 2011 at 8:46 AM  

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