Mark It Up/Free Fallin'
This is a journal entry I wrote today regarding Mark Study.
"I felt like this weekend was important, something I needed, something I wanted. I came into this study not knowing what to expect besides the various 'Omg, it's totally awesome''s that the older folks were telling me but still believed that God knew what I needed. I feel that God has been teaching me to trust him more and truly believe in his power. Before the study I was at a state of discontent with who I was and what I was showing to people; I was fake and scared to be vulnerable and God showed me that problem through my unfruitful relationships. I lacked faith. I didn't believe and trust that god would meet me there and provide for me when I let my guard down, became vulnerable, and acted real. I am reminded of the passage with the paralytic when Jesus showed his power to overcome all and proved to the doubtful scribes His divine authority. I feel like Jesus proved his power to me also by giving me and others the courage to share and be vulnerable and take that risk trusting that He would be there. Initially my fears of being vulnerable centered around the idea that people would see me differently and judge me. And this is scary because when you're vulnerable, you are displaying your true self and if people judged that it really hurts. But I was wrong, these fears were simply invalid. God showed me that being real doesn't bring harsh judgment but actually the opposite. The courage it takes to be real and vulnerable prompts respect and ultimately more love. I feel like this is a big practical application to my life. To have enough courage and faith to be real to those around me. No more simple, coined, and almost false answers of "I'm doing alright," but more of being honest not only regarding the trials and burdens I might go through, but also the blessings and joys. I feel like God has shown me a glimpse of his power and in doing so, reminded me to trust and truly believe that He is above all things and always provides."
I tried not to choose a cliche picture to display my point but I really liked this one.
Imagine being that guy getting ready to jump off that cliff. You are filled with fear, worry, stress, but still excitement and anticipation. I thought that was a good illustration of where my heart was when taking that first step and risking the image that I falsely believed to be so important.
But it must feel really good to hit that water after the fall.
"I felt like this weekend was important, something I needed, something I wanted. I came into this study not knowing what to expect besides the various 'Omg, it's totally awesome''s that the older folks were telling me but still believed that God knew what I needed. I feel that God has been teaching me to trust him more and truly believe in his power. Before the study I was at a state of discontent with who I was and what I was showing to people; I was fake and scared to be vulnerable and God showed me that problem through my unfruitful relationships. I lacked faith. I didn't believe and trust that god would meet me there and provide for me when I let my guard down, became vulnerable, and acted real. I am reminded of the passage with the paralytic when Jesus showed his power to overcome all and proved to the doubtful scribes His divine authority. I feel like Jesus proved his power to me also by giving me and others the courage to share and be vulnerable and take that risk trusting that He would be there. Initially my fears of being vulnerable centered around the idea that people would see me differently and judge me. And this is scary because when you're vulnerable, you are displaying your true self and if people judged that it really hurts. But I was wrong, these fears were simply invalid. God showed me that being real doesn't bring harsh judgment but actually the opposite. The courage it takes to be real and vulnerable prompts respect and ultimately more love. I feel like this is a big practical application to my life. To have enough courage and faith to be real to those around me. No more simple, coined, and almost false answers of "I'm doing alright," but more of being honest not only regarding the trials and burdens I might go through, but also the blessings and joys. I feel like God has shown me a glimpse of his power and in doing so, reminded me to trust and truly believe that He is above all things and always provides."
I tried not to choose a cliche picture to display my point but I really liked this one.
Imagine being that guy getting ready to jump off that cliff. You are filled with fear, worry, stress, but still excitement and anticipation. I thought that was a good illustration of where my heart was when taking that first step and risking the image that I falsely believed to be so important.
But it must feel really good to hit that water after the fall.
posted by brybrykang at
2:22 PM
3 Comments:
sounds like your trying to find the meaning of your life. what happened to partying?
lol at caleb's comment.
thanks for sharing bryan. ur realization of this is also helping me. u already know this. bye
remember that faith is believing without seeing. hopefully you'll continue to grow and have stronger faith so that you'll believe even without "God displaying his powers"
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home