Stewards

In my mind I originally started writing this in reference to a particular person but I realized that there are a good number of people this applies to so I decided to post it with the desire to be an encouragement.

"I am an acquired taste on the best of days. I realize that I need an average of about ten first impressions to get me to break out of my shell and feel comfortable with a person. I am super shy at first and I hated that about myself for the longest time. I really wished I was more outgoing, extroverted, fun, adventurous, spontaneous. I have been realizing more and more that I don't have much, by the world's standards, that can intrigue people about me within our initial meeting. I am not good looking, bad at sports, mediocre at instruments, and of average intelligence. I am not super artsy and can't take cool black and white photos with maximum exposure that can really bring out the contrast of the shading (I have no idea what any of those photo words mean.) or write catchy songs about the paparazzi having poker faces and wanting to just dance because they are hot n cold after listening to Justin Bieber. A lot of these things that man might find impressive, God did not bless me with and I am at peace with that.

As much as I used to focus on this list of 'I cants,' God has grown me to fully appreciate what he has given me and with that I have been learning more and more that God has blessed me with a heart for people. For some reason, I care about you. I don't even know why sometimes. You might be annoying and talk too much. You might smell or tell the worst jokes humanly possible. I might barely know you, but in the end what I care about most is making you laugh or smile or simply listening to what is on your heart. I want to encourage you and love you because God loves you more than anything. I don't think any of this comes without hesitation or fear on my part, but for some reason I want to keep fostering our relationship and get to know you more. I really don't like residing in this complacency and being happy with just knowing you now because we are constantly changing and I want to be a part of that.

I will be honest, what hurts the most when caring about people is when a person does not reciprocate the same feelings back to me, but at the same time I have been learning that that should not be my worry. I think if anything I am to be of the utmost contentment and gratitude for those relationships God blesses me with in which we can both grow in Him together and bring Him glory by loving Him and each other. I am even more thankful for these relationships because God reminds me of his grace and how despite my long list of flaws that outline exactly how untalented I might be in the eyes of society and MTV, he deems me as worthy of his love and even allows me the opportunity to have a heart that desires to show love.

So here is my thank you to God for loving me enough to bless me with people who love me and whom I can love as well. Thank you for allowing my heart to be soft enough to look past someone's outward appearance and appreciate the beauty that you have blessed them with through Jesus' death and resurrection. Thank you for showing me what true love is through the sacrifice of your son by which I can now delight in your love forever.

I just pray that I can be a good steward to the relationships you have given me."